Everyone has been there: that magical jail that smells of Old Spice and crushed dreams. At one point, I owned season passes. What is this place, you ask? The Friendzone.
I have many stories about my time there, but one saga sticks out in my mind… I call it The Case of the Unrelated Twins.
Be prepared, because I’m about to tell on myself.
Girl #1
I met this girl in the 4th grade, and fell head over heels in love… well as much as a 9 year old can. Discovered in the 6th grade that the feeling was DEFINITELY not mutual, but we got over that awkward exchange and stayed friends.
She moved away in 7th grade, and we lost touch completely after 8th.
Girl #2
Two years later, I am in a lifeguard class. We’re learning about rescue breathing, and I see this girl there.
She looks just. like. Girl. Number. 1.
I forge a friendship with Girl #2 based on this shallow fact. We start hanging out throughout the class and lifeguard rookie school, and invite her to my 16th birthday party.
Day Of The Party
Girl #2 shows up. Despite the fact that they had JUST met two weeks prior, my mother mistakes her for Girl #1 and gives her one of the most awkward hugs I’ve seen to date.
I’m thoroughly embarrassed, but we get past it… until 30 minutes later, when Girl #1 shows up.
Jokes were made. “Twin” photos were taken. Both girls are aloof. I’m a dark shade of crimson. Nevertheless, I get through it, and the party’s over.
I lose touch with Girl #1 again, and Girl #2 and I continue to hang out. Yet, I never found my way out of the friendzone with Girl #2, and we eventually lost touch after high school.
Epilogue
I ran into Girl #1 again after my freshman year of college, and realized my puppy love crush was long gone; I guess I was more in love with the idea of her than who she actually was. Don’t get me wrong, she’s a really cool chick. However, my vivid imagination constructed a girl that didn’t exist and attached her face to it.
We reconnected a couple of years ago, and we touch basis every now and then.
I ran into Girl #2 after my junior year of college, and it was super awkward. I can only fault myself for the way things turned out between us, as she was basically a replacement for Girl #1.
We said we’d grab lunch, but we never did. Haven’t seen her since.
