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There is a lot of “advice” floating around the internet about improving your confidence that should be taken with a grain of salt. Then there is actual helpful knowledge.

Nicholas John on IG posted about a quote from a book he’s reading that hit me square in the chest:

Self-confident people share one thing in common, and that is the ability to keep the promises they make to themselves.

The opposite of self-confidence is self-sabotage. It’s like a computer virus that lurks inside many people, and is only triggered when you try to move forward with an important part of your life.

This was way too loud to hear at 8:00 a.m. on a Thursday.

I’ve known for a while that I tend to self-sabotage when it comes to things I really want. For me, this tends to manifest itself as inaction. There were so many times when I was interested in an opportunity (or relationship) that I was too afraid to pursue, even though I was more than qualified. So I just… didn’t.

It’s a cycle I’m slowly working myself out of, mainly because of a core truth I know: what’s meant for you will be for you.

Several times I ended up in those positions (and relationships) anyway, even when my fear made me hesitate initially. Others can sometimes see your value without you broadcasting it, or in some cases before you even see it yourself. Self-confidence would’ve gotten me there faster and with less anxiety.

There are several others that I didn’t get, and that’s 100% on me. I’m pretty good at recognizing my shortcomings and taking accountability, but it’s useless if I don’t take the necessary steps to avoid making the same mistake(s) in the future.

For now, I will take my first lesson in self-confidence and start to keep my promises to myself. I’m pretty good at doing it for others, and it’s time I include myself in the number.

You can watch the video below and be triggered for yourself. If you’re intrigued further, the original quote comes from The Power of One More: The Ultimate Guide to Happiness and Success by Ed Mylett. 



Orondé Jenkins is a multidisciplinary artist and media consultant based in Nashville. No Average Journey was born out of his desire to help artists grow in their lives and careers.